Ardis Journal

It feels cozy tonight lying in bed in my warm flannel nightgown.  I have a beautiful quilt over me that Blake bought somewhere in his travels.  Rain is drumming, drumming, on the roof overhead, and tapping lightly on my small window.  Rain is singing a lullaby, but I don't want to sleep yet.

This is the first night since the crossing that I don't feel impelled to cry.  I feel as though God is giving me courage and strength beyond my own.  I don't want to feel ragging anger at Him anymore.  I'm soul weary.

Last night I dreamed that Papa Aidan visited.  He twirled me and then hugged me closely.  "Ardie Kay, we WILL be together again.  In life you were a rich blessing to us.  It is our turn to minister to you.  You won't see us, because faith is an important thing to gain.  Please, Ardie Kay don't be sad.  You keep telling us that you want us to be happy.  How can we be happy when you're so sad?  We fulfilled our work on this earth, but you are not done.  There is great joy and family ahead for you".

Ardis became aware that Aidan was fading from view and his voice was growing softer.  "We love you forever.  We'll stay close."

Ardis rolled to her other side, and Billy was there.  "Ardie Kay," he leaned down and kissed her cheek.  "I love you forever and always!  Don't be sad.  We're happy.  This is a wonderful place."  Then Billy began to fade out, "I love you forever and always Ardie Kay!"

Fiona was there.  Radiant with health and happiness Fiona held a baby.  "Don't mourn for us dear.  We're fine, and look, we have our baby, a precious girl.  You will always be her older sister."
The next thing that Ardis knew birds were singing her awake.  Sunlight filled the room with light.

Now, a night later, Ardis remembered her dream and pledged to herself, "I am going to do my best to be happy for my family.  They are together, happy, yet still connected to me and concerned about me."

They didn't mention Tom, so I guess he's still alive?  Sigh, I wish that he would write to me.  On the other hand, I will find ways to be happy, even with his uncertainty hanging over me.  Then she was asleep.