The wind cooled her heated soul. The sun shone softly on the air around her. She sang as though each moment was her last. Angela had been gifted with music. It was not a wish, not a once in awhile want, it was a need that moved through her days and nights. Music made her feel alive. During the darkest parts of her difficult life it brought comfort, and courage.
Henry detested music. He called it a waster of effort and time. He forbid Angela to sing...at all. Angela had learned the hard way not to sing around Henry. She had gone ever so hungry time, after time, after time, before she finally succumbed to his selfish wish for silence.
The moment that Henry was gone Angela filled the air with the sweetest of notes. Her voice was untrained. Yet in her case her adoration for the gift of music made up for her lack of trained polish.
She sang with the birds in the trees. She sang about the ripple of the water when she skipped a stone across. She sang about life, about love, about pain, about sorrow. She sang, and sang, and sang. She had only ever been taught a few songs in her young life. In church at the orphanage they were taught many classical hymns out of the small book. Hungry for music, she would learn each every entire song in 2 hours of church.
Angela took the hymns home with her in her clever mind and changed them. Copying the work of others initially, she would then expand on it, change notes to suit her desires, adding words that she preferred to the original text. Throwing her head back she would perform for a field of daisies nodding with the breeze. Song birds in the trees answered her musical entreaties. There was always a stage in Angela's mind, and she performed on it as often as she possibly could.
Her favorite performances found her gowned in gold and silver taffeta and lace. Ribbons of gems of be clasped about her alabaster neck. She would stand very still and lift her head slightly. In her imagination she was waiting for the audience to calm and become still. Then she would lift her head proudly and song would pour forth from her soul. She adored the power of that time.
When Henry came home, he would find her kneeling in front of the fire stirring some sort of food for a meal. He never thanked her for preparing food. He never commented on its taste or texture. Angela learned that his thanks was communicated in a series of caveman like grunts. Once relaxed and sated Henry would become slightly less repulsive. Sometimes he would even request that Angela sing for him. Angela loved those times the best.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
Windy Wonder - Angela
Crouching at the mouth of the cave Angela reasoned and rationalized. "What Henry, don't know, can't hurt him. If I don't get out of this stinkin' cave, I'm going to become as crazy as Henry."
Talking to herself gave Angela comfort. She spent a great deal of time alone. Even when Henry was with her, she was alone. He never listened to her. He just talked at her. Angela had learned early that the only person that had anything worth saying to Henry, was Henry.
Wind, Angela felt a tiny touch of it. A gentle nudge, a wind whispered word, "Angela, come out, come out, and play. Henry won't ever know."
Angela could only listen to the invitation of nature's bounty for so long. Finally she burst forth from the cave. She suddenly had an image of a mole, popping her head out of the underground darkness. Quickly she felt a kinship with that poor old mole.
Ferocious, untamed, Angela felt the force of the wind pound against her. She put her finger in her mouth. Once that finger was moist, Angela held it up in the air. It was a crude determiner but it worked for her purpose. Angela said, "Let's see. How does this work? Oh, right. You suck on your finger, get it wet, and then hold it up in the air. The wind is blowing from the North. That's good, because North winds don't do much damage."
Angela stood very still on the mountainside. She imagined herself a mighty Queen of Egypt. She was holding court. Standing tall and majestic she said, "I know that you would not have stolen bread for your family if someone had just reached out and helped you. Go in peace brother."
Angela's imaginary court faded away. Henry was there.
He grabbed her roughly by the ear and pulled her back into the cave. "You haven't the sense of a flea! Don't you know that people are trying to find you to put you in jail? I told you to stay put. I guess you're just too dumb to be trusted. Don't try that again. If you don't listen to me, I will turn you over to the police. I don't think you would last very long in jail. The others in there would kill you."
He tossed her onto the ground like a piece of trash. "You are trash you know. Nobody wanted you. They threw your naked butt onto the front of the orphanage and left you. The Matron of the Orphanage said that you were almost frozen to death by the time she heard you crying. You're very lucky that I keep you. Nobody else would want you. I only want you to get in the small places that I can't reach. When you get any bigger, well I don't keep things that I don't need."
Angela had a quick mental image of Henry shooting the woman that he had paid to act the role of her Mother. The woman had been foolish enough to think that Henry would actually pay for her assistance. The name that they had given the Matron was Helen. Angela knew that wasn't her real name. The woman seemed actually surprised when Henry pulled out his gun and shot her dead.
Henry then picked up her lifeless body. He had been living in a cave. There was a place in the cave with a drop so deep you could not see the bottom. This is where Henry put her body. "Nobody will ever even miss her. She was trash, like you Angela. Remember, this is what I do to trash. If you don't listen and do what I say, or if you try to run away, this is how I take out the trash."
Angela tried to obey Henry. On the other hand sometimes she just had to live. He was often gone for a very long time. Angela would stay in the cave for a few days but eventually she had to get out in the light, into the wind. Henry tried, usually successfully, to squelch any normal, healthy desires out of her. In his world she was only good to him when she did exactly what he said.
Henry never hit her. He also never hugged her. A useful tool was his mental description of Angela. He did not wish to have to train another useful tool. He starved her to keep her from growing. Angela no longer knew for certain how old she was. She knew that she was six years old when Henry adopted her. With no calendar to mark her passing years she had become completely confused about her age. Sometimes Henry told her that she was eight years old. Two weeks later he would tell her that she was ten. Once Angela was foolish enough to say, "Henry, a little while ago you told me that I was eight years old. How can I have gotten two years older in a couple of days?"
Henry looked at her with the coldest of disdain. "Girlie, I do NOT know what you're talking about. I never said anything about you being eight years old. Well, maybe I told you that when you actually WERE eight years old. You are a little too young for your brain not working right but I've heard of such things. You ARE getting a little too large. That means that you will only be eating tonight. As a matter of fact I will only feed you from now on at night. I can't have you get too large!"
"No Henry, I'm starving!" Angela stood upright and glared at Henry in challenge.
"Dumb girl, you know better than to talk back to me! You won't get to eat until TOMORROW evening now. If you quit talking back I might let you have some water today."
Henry had several reasons to not feed Angela much food. He wanted to retard her growth, keeping her weak kept her from trying to escape, and it saved him money to only feed himself. When he did feed Angela it was a pitifully small quantity of food.
Angela had seen looks of sympathy from others when they were in public. She knew that she looked sick. Sometimes when Henry actually let her out of the cave she would eat grass, or dirt. They didn't provide nutrition but just the action of chewing felt good. Angela began to eat bugs. It made her queasy at first but she was unbearably hungry. After a while it didn't even make her queasy. It also gave her a little strength and nutrition. She was very careful to hide her bug consumption from Henry.
Life had forced Angela to be strong. Clever, imaginative, and determined by nature she found ways to get around Henry's cruelty. Henry would order her to go into a grocery store and steal food. Sometimes, if the store was very busy and Henry was across the room from her, she would stuff food in her mouth and chew quickly. Once she had swallowed the food, Angela reasoned, Henry could not take it back.
One possibility that Henry had not considered is that even though Angela was far too thin, she still grew taller. Terrified that her growth would cause Henry to kill her Angela began to slump down. She hopeed that Henry would not notice her subterfuge.
Some nights Angela would wake herself up screaming, "No, don't kill me Henry!"
Henry would growl, "Shut up and go back to sleep."
Lying in the darkness of the cave Angela twisted and turned trying to find a comfortable position for her bony body. It was darker than a night sky. Her eyes would never adapt to the blackness. Even though she could not go back to sleep she would squeeze her eyes tightly shut. Her imagination would take her away, away from the cave, away from hunger, and most importantly, away from Henry.
Talking to herself gave Angela comfort. She spent a great deal of time alone. Even when Henry was with her, she was alone. He never listened to her. He just talked at her. Angela had learned early that the only person that had anything worth saying to Henry, was Henry.
Wind, Angela felt a tiny touch of it. A gentle nudge, a wind whispered word, "Angela, come out, come out, and play. Henry won't ever know."
Angela could only listen to the invitation of nature's bounty for so long. Finally she burst forth from the cave. She suddenly had an image of a mole, popping her head out of the underground darkness. Quickly she felt a kinship with that poor old mole.
Ferocious, untamed, Angela felt the force of the wind pound against her. She put her finger in her mouth. Once that finger was moist, Angela held it up in the air. It was a crude determiner but it worked for her purpose. Angela said, "Let's see. How does this work? Oh, right. You suck on your finger, get it wet, and then hold it up in the air. The wind is blowing from the North. That's good, because North winds don't do much damage."
Angela stood very still on the mountainside. She imagined herself a mighty Queen of Egypt. She was holding court. Standing tall and majestic she said, "I know that you would not have stolen bread for your family if someone had just reached out and helped you. Go in peace brother."
Angela's imaginary court faded away. Henry was there.
He grabbed her roughly by the ear and pulled her back into the cave. "You haven't the sense of a flea! Don't you know that people are trying to find you to put you in jail? I told you to stay put. I guess you're just too dumb to be trusted. Don't try that again. If you don't listen to me, I will turn you over to the police. I don't think you would last very long in jail. The others in there would kill you."
He tossed her onto the ground like a piece of trash. "You are trash you know. Nobody wanted you. They threw your naked butt onto the front of the orphanage and left you. The Matron of the Orphanage said that you were almost frozen to death by the time she heard you crying. You're very lucky that I keep you. Nobody else would want you. I only want you to get in the small places that I can't reach. When you get any bigger, well I don't keep things that I don't need."
Angela had a quick mental image of Henry shooting the woman that he had paid to act the role of her Mother. The woman had been foolish enough to think that Henry would actually pay for her assistance. The name that they had given the Matron was Helen. Angela knew that wasn't her real name. The woman seemed actually surprised when Henry pulled out his gun and shot her dead.
Henry then picked up her lifeless body. He had been living in a cave. There was a place in the cave with a drop so deep you could not see the bottom. This is where Henry put her body. "Nobody will ever even miss her. She was trash, like you Angela. Remember, this is what I do to trash. If you don't listen and do what I say, or if you try to run away, this is how I take out the trash."
Angela tried to obey Henry. On the other hand sometimes she just had to live. He was often gone for a very long time. Angela would stay in the cave for a few days but eventually she had to get out in the light, into the wind. Henry tried, usually successfully, to squelch any normal, healthy desires out of her. In his world she was only good to him when she did exactly what he said.
Henry never hit her. He also never hugged her. A useful tool was his mental description of Angela. He did not wish to have to train another useful tool. He starved her to keep her from growing. Angela no longer knew for certain how old she was. She knew that she was six years old when Henry adopted her. With no calendar to mark her passing years she had become completely confused about her age. Sometimes Henry told her that she was eight years old. Two weeks later he would tell her that she was ten. Once Angela was foolish enough to say, "Henry, a little while ago you told me that I was eight years old. How can I have gotten two years older in a couple of days?"
Henry looked at her with the coldest of disdain. "Girlie, I do NOT know what you're talking about. I never said anything about you being eight years old. Well, maybe I told you that when you actually WERE eight years old. You are a little too young for your brain not working right but I've heard of such things. You ARE getting a little too large. That means that you will only be eating tonight. As a matter of fact I will only feed you from now on at night. I can't have you get too large!"
"No Henry, I'm starving!" Angela stood upright and glared at Henry in challenge.
"Dumb girl, you know better than to talk back to me! You won't get to eat until TOMORROW evening now. If you quit talking back I might let you have some water today."
Henry had several reasons to not feed Angela much food. He wanted to retard her growth, keeping her weak kept her from trying to escape, and it saved him money to only feed himself. When he did feed Angela it was a pitifully small quantity of food.
Angela had seen looks of sympathy from others when they were in public. She knew that she looked sick. Sometimes when Henry actually let her out of the cave she would eat grass, or dirt. They didn't provide nutrition but just the action of chewing felt good. Angela began to eat bugs. It made her queasy at first but she was unbearably hungry. After a while it didn't even make her queasy. It also gave her a little strength and nutrition. She was very careful to hide her bug consumption from Henry.
Life had forced Angela to be strong. Clever, imaginative, and determined by nature she found ways to get around Henry's cruelty. Henry would order her to go into a grocery store and steal food. Sometimes, if the store was very busy and Henry was across the room from her, she would stuff food in her mouth and chew quickly. Once she had swallowed the food, Angela reasoned, Henry could not take it back.
One possibility that Henry had not considered is that even though Angela was far too thin, she still grew taller. Terrified that her growth would cause Henry to kill her Angela began to slump down. She hopeed that Henry would not notice her subterfuge.
Some nights Angela would wake herself up screaming, "No, don't kill me Henry!"
Henry would growl, "Shut up and go back to sleep."
Lying in the darkness of the cave Angela twisted and turned trying to find a comfortable position for her bony body. It was darker than a night sky. Her eyes would never adapt to the blackness. Even though she could not go back to sleep she would squeeze her eyes tightly shut. Her imagination would take her away, away from the cave, away from hunger, and most importantly, away from Henry.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Angela
"Well you certainly bungled that one!" Henry was raging. He paced up and down in the small cave where they were hiding from posses and people. "What were you thinking? Oh wait, that's right, you're a dumb girl child that doesn't have a brain in her tiny shrunken head!"
"Henry I just..."
Henry's fist clenched and unclenched. He drew his fist back as though he was going to strike Angela in the face. "I don't want to hear any of your foolish excuses!"
Angela shook her head in frustration. She kept quiet. Her thoughts would not stop. SHE had not bungled the robbery. Henry had. The investigative work that he had done was completely, irrefutably WRONG. Henry was becoming lazy and sloppy. After all, he was not risking much. In his mind Angela was easily replaceable.
He had sent Angela in to crack a safe and crawl through an impossibly tiny space. She had not even crawled all the way through the window before she heard an alarm sounding. She saw people rushing about. As quietly a possible she backed out and raced to Henry.
Henry continued his ranting, "Why did you come back here? You very probably led the Sheriff right to us! I can't believe that anyone can be so stupid! You had better remember that if you ever cause ME to be threatened I WILL hang you....slow and painfully!"
Angela walked over to the pile of groceries and reached in to pull out a stick of jerky.
Henry snatched it away. He put his face invasively right in Angela's face. He screamed, "You can't be thinkin' that you get to eat after your stupidity!"
Angela finally reached her breaking point. She kept her face inches from Henry's face. She screamed back at him, "This is YOUR FAULT! I did everything that you told me to do. If you starve me any more, I won't be able to rob anybody. When they find my dead body, dead from starvation, they'll find you and charge you with murder. Then they will hang YOU!"
A look came on Henry's face that Angela had never seen before. If it had been on any one else's face she would have called it respect. On Henry's face, Angela was quite certain that he simply accepted the truth of her statement.
"Make dinner witch! You will eat tonight, not because of the stupid dangerous way that you stood up to me. You will eat dinner because you will need energy to pack us up. We escape tonight. In the dark nobody will be looking for us. If they are, they will not be looking for a man and his daughter!" Henry's face again was revoltingly close, "Don't get the foolish idea that you have value to me. Killing you would be so easy and pleasant for me. I can train a new child any time I wish."
Slowly Angela backed away from Henry. She had seen him shoot her faux adoptive Mother in the back. She didn't trust Henry, never, not at all. As she went about the process of cooking she tried to focus on the pleasure she would sustain in eating food, glorious food!
"Henry I just..."
Henry's fist clenched and unclenched. He drew his fist back as though he was going to strike Angela in the face. "I don't want to hear any of your foolish excuses!"
Angela shook her head in frustration. She kept quiet. Her thoughts would not stop. SHE had not bungled the robbery. Henry had. The investigative work that he had done was completely, irrefutably WRONG. Henry was becoming lazy and sloppy. After all, he was not risking much. In his mind Angela was easily replaceable.
He had sent Angela in to crack a safe and crawl through an impossibly tiny space. She had not even crawled all the way through the window before she heard an alarm sounding. She saw people rushing about. As quietly a possible she backed out and raced to Henry.
Henry continued his ranting, "Why did you come back here? You very probably led the Sheriff right to us! I can't believe that anyone can be so stupid! You had better remember that if you ever cause ME to be threatened I WILL hang you....slow and painfully!"
Angela walked over to the pile of groceries and reached in to pull out a stick of jerky.
Henry snatched it away. He put his face invasively right in Angela's face. He screamed, "You can't be thinkin' that you get to eat after your stupidity!"
Angela finally reached her breaking point. She kept her face inches from Henry's face. She screamed back at him, "This is YOUR FAULT! I did everything that you told me to do. If you starve me any more, I won't be able to rob anybody. When they find my dead body, dead from starvation, they'll find you and charge you with murder. Then they will hang YOU!"
A look came on Henry's face that Angela had never seen before. If it had been on any one else's face she would have called it respect. On Henry's face, Angela was quite certain that he simply accepted the truth of her statement.
"Make dinner witch! You will eat tonight, not because of the stupid dangerous way that you stood up to me. You will eat dinner because you will need energy to pack us up. We escape tonight. In the dark nobody will be looking for us. If they are, they will not be looking for a man and his daughter!" Henry's face again was revoltingly close, "Don't get the foolish idea that you have value to me. Killing you would be so easy and pleasant for me. I can train a new child any time I wish."
Slowly Angela backed away from Henry. She had seen him shoot her faux adoptive Mother in the back. She didn't trust Henry, never, not at all. As she went about the process of cooking she tried to focus on the pleasure she would sustain in eating food, glorious food!
Rose's Jelly Roll
Beat yolks of four eggs until light. Add 1 cup sugar and beat well. Then add whites beaten stiff and one cup of flour to which as been added one teaspoon baking powder. Last add 6 Tablespoons of boiling water. Beat this mixture for two minutes. Put it into a greased pan and bake in a moderate oven about twenty minutes. When it's done turn it out. Roll it into a dish towel and let it cool. Unroll and spread with jelly or filling.
Chocolate Filling
Mix one square of chocolate with one half cup of water. Blend in one half cup of milk (for our modern time you can substitute coconut milk, almond milk, or soy milk). In a saucepan blend these three ingredients until the chocolate melts. Mix one half cup of sugar, and two Tablespoons flour. Combine the milk blend with the sugar and flour blend. Cook for about twenty minutes (low flame about twenty minutes). Add one half teaspoon of vanilla, and then cool slightly before spreading it on the roll.
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