Celeste's Journal

Fluffed with fatness the snowflakes are falling outside my window.  It does not snow often here so I'm filled with joy.  I'm sitting in my warm shop with the fire crackling next to me crocheting.  I LOVE making crocheted Christmas tree ornaments.  I haven't made them in a long time.  Of course, I didn't make them at Madame's house of horrors.  I made them as a child in long ago and far away France.  Maman taught me how to crochet...how to knit...how to make things of beauty with my two hands.

I discovered last year that Blake and Red have very manly types of ornaments and decorations at the ranch.  They have a few glass ornaments, and some popcorn strings with a few cranberries as well on the strings.  That's it.  When I asked them why they didn't have more ornaments they looked at me as though I was slightly crazy.  Blake said, "Why do we need more ornaments, what we have is plenty."  I didn't say anything more but right then and there I determined that this year for this Christmas I would make lacy snowflakes that sparkle to put on that enormous tree they will chop down from the hill behind the ranch.

I wish Eric or Jamie were here with me.  I haven't seen them since last Sunday and it's Thursday.  I want to be with them all the time and see them grow and change from minute to minute.  They are growing up far too fast for my liking. 

I long for the company of Blake.  His kisses light my heart with fire.  He is tender, affectionate, and yet keeps a certain distance always.  Sarah told me that he would marry me, to have patience, but I have never been particularly patient.  I still haven't decided if seeing Sarah was a dream.  I usually believe it was a dream.  Yet every once in awhile late at night when I can't sleep, it seems as though it was very, very real.

Well, I'm going to quit writing, and start crocheting.  Thanks Mama, if you can see me, read this, for teaching me how to crochet snowflakes for a Christmas tree.  I love you Mama, miss you, and I'm grateful for having the best Mama in the world for 14 whole years!