Stars and Such

I was restless last night.  My shop has been busy, busy, busy.  I'm very grateful that even though the townspeople have been very judgmental towards me personally they still appreciate my skills as a seamstress.  I've had men come in and commission me to make shirts or pants.  That is always uncomfortable to me.  I wonder if I will ever be able to forget the hideous things I learned about men when I was at Madame's?  Yet I do appreciate the business.

So trying to fight my restlessness...I took a warm quilt and went into the alley behind my shop.  I put the quilt down on the earth, lay down on it, and wrapped the other side around me.  Looking up at the stars I felt my restlessness slide away.  In the quiet alley there is no source of light.  The stars were enormous...diamonds against black velvet. The moon seemed close enough to reach out and touch.

I let my mind run loose and free.  I imagined Blake and I together, husband and wife.  It was a joyful daydream.  Yet I must never forget that it is just that a daydream.  If I get too excited about the idea I will have further to fall into disappointment.

I did drift into sleep.  I was awakened by a fat drop of rain, plop, right on my nose.  I moved quickly to gather my quilt and dash into the shop.  I did not get very wet.  Since it was only 3 am I hung my quilt to dry.  Then I went upstairs, and after dressing in my nightgown I climbed into my soft bed.  Yawn, stretch, I'm ready to go back to sleep!