Angela

Angela glanced over at Henry.  He was hunkered over a book.  Angela knew that Henry was writing again.  He had a small book.  In it he wrote down what they stole, and how much it was worth.  He kept assiduous track of all expenses they incurred, then he wrote about his life. 

Henry was rarely in a pleasant mood.  Angela made the mistake of asking Henry once, "Why do you write so much in that book?  Could you teach me some book learnin'?  Maybe I could keep track of what we steal and what we spend.  That would save you time."

Henry made a gesture as though he was going to hit Angela in the face.  Angela flinched.  Henry laughed.  "You little no account, good-for-nothin'-girl.  I've told you that women are only good for two things, keeping a man warm on cold nights, cleanin' and cookin'."

Angela did NOT correct Henry and tell him that he had listed three things, not two.

Henry continued, "You are more stupid than a bird.  You couldn't learn nothin' no how.  Men are meant to do readin' and writin'.  Women, well they are intended to do what men wants them to.  Now finish cleanin' them pots and git in your bedroll.  We have a long trip tomorrow."

Angela walked the short trip to a pond nearby.  She wasn't afraid of the dark.  Henry Butler was her adopted Father.  Living with him made any other threat seem minor.  Angela was a slave to Henry's wishes and whims.  He fed her only enough to keep her alive  He frequently told her that she was only good to him small.  If she began to get large he'd kill her and adopt another small child.

Some days were so bad that she wished he WOULD kill her. 

Then she would remember that Henry had consigned her to Hell for being, "A worthless Bastard that even the Devil didn't want."

Angela often thought that even Hell had to be a better existence than the one she had with Henry.

She put a small amount of sand in both of the cast iron pans.  She scrubbed the pans with sand.  Then she rinsed them off in the freezing cold pond water. 

Her hands were cracked, split, and bleeding.  After the sand she would lather the pans with homemade lye soap that Henry had taught her how to make.  The lye cleaned very well.  It took off any food that was stubborn.  Unfortunately it took off a great deal of the skin on her hands and wrists. 

Sometimes Angela would sneak a tiny bit of butter and rub it into her miserable hands.  Henry caught her once.  He did not beat her, or spank her.  He had a far more heinous punishment.  He simply did not feed her for however long he deemed necessary to teach her "The error of her ways."

Angela heard a lonely wolf howl close by.  She was not frightened that the wolf would kill her.  She WAS frightened at the method that the wolf would use to kill her.  Scrubbing more quickly she finished the job in record time.

When Angela returned to the campfire with the scrubbed clean pans in her arms Henry was fast asleep.  He was sitting up with his journal in his lap.  Angela weighed the pros and cons of awakening Henry.  She knew that he would be furious if she awakened him.  She also knew that if he slept sitting up all night he would be angry that she didn't wake him up to get in his bedroll.  Angela knew the principle of "Damned if you do, damned if you don't," all too well.

As Angela climbed carefully into her warm, soft, bedroll she made the decision to make a token effort to get Henry into his bedroll.  She called out in a very quiet voice, "Henry, you need to wake up and get into your bedroll."  She repeated the same directive three times in the same volume of voice.  Henry didn't even hear her.  He just snored louder.

Angela climbed into her bedroll with a smile on her face.  "It's worth it to have a hurting tummy for a few days.  Henry will have a stiff neck for a few days.  He's cross as an ol' setting hen when he sleeps like that, but it makes me happy that he will be hurtin'. 

Smiling brightly Angela said the nighttime prayer that she had been taught at the orphanage, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."  AMEN.

Angela got off her knees and crawled into her bedroll.  Turning on her right side she smiled and welcomed the release of sleep.