Miracles? Celeste's Journal

I have been angry at God ever since we left France.  I loved our cozy home in France.  I loved helping Papa with the wine.  I loved pressing them in the harvest with my bare, clean feet.  The neighbors would come and take turns as well.  I always felt that the wines tasted richer, more full-bodied when pressed by the loving feet of many.

Last night Blake spoke to me about the "miracles," in his life.  He spoke of how getting away from his abusive Father was a "miracle."  He spoke about being shanghaied at 14 and how that experience became a "miracle," as he was able to earn lots of money quickly so that he could create the Drifting Anchor Ranch.

He even spoke about the "Miracles" that came through his beloved wives although they sacrificed themselves to create those two miracles, Jamie, and Eric.

I didn't say anything for a long time and then the vile bitterness of my soul came pouring out of my mouth.  I said, "How can you call something so horrible as having an abusive Father but getting away from him, being Shanghaied at 14, then losing two wives due to childbirth, a MIRACLE?

Blake was silent for a long time and I also fell silent remembering my sorrows, and cursing God for all of the them.

Finally Blake spoke and silver tears ran down his beloved face as he spoke, "The hard parts of life are always with us Celeste.  Abuse, pain, death, all are with us far too often.  That is why it is critical to also see and choose to focus on the miracles in this life.  From my Father's sick, alcoholic abuse, I became more sensitive to the pain of others.  Because I was Shanghaied, I was able to raise more money at a young age than I would ever have been able to raise in other professions. 

I KNOW that hard things happen.  I just CHOOSE to focus on the blessed life experiences instead of the hard things.  I call those blessed life experiences miracles.  A miracle is something performed outside of the natural laws we are familiar with.  So by that definition I have witnessed many miracles."

I was silent.  I could not think of a single word to reply to Blake's positive ideas.  I decided to just let them sit in my brain and simmer there.  Just as I like to simmer a delicious sauce and let the flavors blend...I will simmer and let Blake's ideas in to my heart.  Maybe they will help soothe away some of the bitterness that threatens to canker my soul?  Who can tell?