Christmas at the Drifting Anchor Ranch was great and terrible. It was great to share the holiday with Blake. It started very well on Christmas Eve. We had such a wonderful community celebration. It was magical to me watching the little ones get presents from old Saint Nick aka Blake.
Then everything was ruined. The owner of one of the saloons heard that I love to sing. He invited me to sing at his saloon. He gave me a gift that he said "Wasn't a bribe." I don't know the man well enough to even remember his name and he gives me a gift?
The most mortifying moment was finding out that he believed that Blake and I are living together, as God intended man and wife to live together. Yes, we share the same two room house, but we are not and never have been more than friends.
I am a married woman. My allegiance is still to Tom. It's hard to stay guarded with my feelings towards Blake. He is such a wonderful man. He is brilliant, talented, loving, and beloved by this town. He is one of the hardest workers that I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few hard workers.
The saloon man and Blake got into a fight. They were quite evenly matched and they gave as good as they got. Blake was in a lot of pain Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and for a week afterwards. He didn't let it stop him. He worked the day after Christmas. In the evenings Red would rub lineament all over Blake's chest and back. Blake said that it eased his pain.
In spite of the fight, and the inappropriate proposition from the saloon keeper, Christmas was quite lovely. Blake gave me a number of things but my favorite gift was the lovely cherry red sleigh. He is also a very thoughtful man. OH MY GOODNESS! I must quit thinking about Blake, Blake, Blake.
Tom. Not a whisper, not a single word from him. I try not to worry about him. He is a very strong man. He's been close to death more than once and managed to continue to live. Each day I do my best to focus on the tasks at hand, those in the town that might need my help, usually Dr. Stone, anything but Tom. If he truly loved me and wished to keep the promise he made with my parents it seems like he would not let anything stop him from contacting me! Sometimes I'm very angry at him. Other times I'm scared....so scared....so alone. I would never say that Tom and I shared a deep passionate type of love, but in my way I did love him, DO love him.
My eyes will not stay open any longer. Another day is done.
